he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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