your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
