I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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