Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize