yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
