So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
