oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
