i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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