i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
