Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
