i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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