You made me cry and you don't even care
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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