You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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