bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
