Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
