I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
