You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
