I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
