wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
