I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Are we still banned from the library?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
