Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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