No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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