i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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