Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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