Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
