.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
