You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
