Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
