I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
