thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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