this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
