i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
