How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
my liver is dry heaving
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
