So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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