when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize