yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
