She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yo dont text me then not text me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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