I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
