i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
