My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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