even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
