TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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