dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
