I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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