i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
