So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
