So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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