google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
