I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
