her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
